Season 4, Episode 4: Eggtown recap

Previously on Lost: all types of stuff went down. Remember? If not, check out recaps for The Beginning of the End, Confirmed Dead and The Economist.

Now’s the time for some Eggtown! Shall we?

We start with a closeup on an eye. Jacob’s eye? No. Locke’s.

He wakes up, deals with his eye boogers, makes some breakfast. He walks down to the cells we were stuck in for half of last season. Before we see who he’s going to see, we bear witness to a stunning revelation: these are the last two eggs. Nooooooo!

It gets worse. The eggs are for Ben. The last two eggs! Does Ben look like the kind of person who will appreciate the last two eggs?

Jerk.

Locke brings him a book, too. I didn’t catch the title, but I’m guessing it’s Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff (And It’s All Small Stuff).

Ben points out that this thoughtfully picked-out book is from his bookshelf, plus he already read it already. But thanks, Locke. Ben wants to know where Miles is, and Locke wants to know who Ben’s spy on the boat is, but nobody’s talking. So Ben gets nasty.

“I feel for you, John. I really do. You keep hitting dead ends. Couldn’t find the cabin, can’t make contact with Jacob. You’re so desperate, my grandma hits harder than you, your ass isn’t what it used to be…and you’re more LOST than you ever were.”

Ha! He got a LOST in there. Love it. Saved the whole thing. Lost, like the show.

Locke tell him the Jedi mind tricks won’t work this time.

“Excellent, John! You’re evolving!”

Locke leaves without taking the bait. But Ben being Ben, and Locke being Locke, the mindjitsu naturally worked. Locke smashes the tray against the wall in the hallway. Noooooo!

The eggs! Think of the eggs, John! Ben hears this and loves it, of course.

We watch Locke walk outside, slam the door like a teenager who had TV taken away for a week, and stomp around some more. Come on, Locke, a hissy fit? Kate, who’s hanging out with Claire, is like, what’s that about. Claire has her best line of the season: “Who knows? It’s Locke.” Indeed.

Sawyer comes by and says the coffee smells good, with a sly smile for Claire that apparently means, “Hey single mom, go get me some coffee while I make time with Kate.”

Sawyer and Kate talk. And it’s very high school. And that’s with all due respect to high schoolers everywhere. Sawyer hits all the wrong notes, because dude has less game than anyone I’ve ever known. The topic of pregnancy, in particular, doesn’t go over well, and Kate sends him home. Pregnancy? Did these two talk about pregnancy before? I don’t remember that happening. Sawyer tries to play it off like he’s not madly in love with her. He’s madly in love with her, but I don’t care.

Time for the Kate flash-flizzle we’ve all been waiting for. Oh, you haven’t been waiting for it? Sorry, here it goes anyway. It starts off with some nice shots of Kate in a car with her lawyer. Looks like the law finally caught up to her, but who cares? The main takeaway is that showers have done wonders for her.

There’s a flurry of action at the courtroom as Kate walks in with her lawyer. They read off the charges for all that stuff she did back in the day. Her lawyer is Joey Henrickson from Big Love, which doesn’t exactly inspire confidence.

Prosecution says Kate’s a flight risk and should be remanded into court custody for the rest of the trial, or something like that. Judge Wapner is like, yup. Then Doug Llewelyn is like, Yo Kate, what did you think of the verdict? And she’s like, you know, it’s hard to see a best friend situation turn into something like this over a couple hundred dollars in refrigerator repairs.

Back on the island, Jin and Sun are talking about Albuquerque, leaving the island, crap like that. And it’s boring. Even the subtitles are boring. Jin finally breaks into English to say he learned English for her so they could live in America. Funny thing, though. She wants to raise her baby at home in Korea. “You mean our baby,” says Jin. Is that what she means? Because she definitely said “my baby” just now, homie. Jack shows up and gives a lame speech that doesn’t matter.

Back at the ranch, Kate and Locke are talking. She points out the blood all over his hands. “I just killed a chicken,” states Locke. “What can I do for you?” Wings would be nice? Kate wants to talk to Miles, but Locke shuts her down with a speech about how this ain’t no party, this ain’t no democracy, this ain’t no foolin around. He also talks some ying-yang about how if this were a dictatorship, he’d shoot her. Yeah, if she wasn’t armed and her back was to him, he’d shoot her. I’m not feeling this side of Locke at all.

Anyway, Kate figures she’ll take another shot and try to get Mom to let her borrow the car instead. She catches Hugo on the way to Miles with food, pulls a few mind tricks of her own and gets directions to her boy in seconds flat. “You just totally Scooby-Doo’d me, didn’t you,” he says. Basically. She takes off to find Miles in his secluded little boathouse.

Kate starts questioning Miles, trying to find out if he knows who she is and what she did. Miles ain’t talking, but he will if he can get one minute of someone’s time. Whose time, asks Kate. Arzt, Kate. Who do you think? Miles thinks it’s a dumb question, too: “Who do you think?” That’s what I’m saying.

Now we’re with Kate and her lawyer, Joey Henrickson, who suggests they call Margene as a character witness. Kate’s not into that idea at all. Finally, she tells him, “You are not using my son.” Hello! Kate’s son is in play.

Back on the island, Claire and Kate hang. Claire asks Kate to pick Aaron up, and Kate reacts like he’s the world’s biggest wet turd.

“I’m just not very good with babies,” Kate says. Aaron makes a face like, Yo, if she’s not good with babies, don’t let her pick my fragile ass up, for real for real!

Claire’s like, oh Kate, just pick his fragile ass up. Look, it’s no big deal, I’ll show you. Step 1: Pick him up. Step 2: Hold him. Not a big deal. Kate’s still not into it.

Back in court, Kate looks like she’s in trouble. Joey says as much. He’s like, you do know I’m a polygamist with a drinking problem, not a lawyer. Then he tells her he had no choice but to call the next witness. And it’s Jack Sheppard, everybody! Clean shaven as all get out.

Kate looks very, very, very uncomfortable with this move, to say the least. Jack testifies that only eight people survived the crash. Really? I thought it was more than tha – oh, he’s lying. And Kate looks like she just crapped her pants.

The more he talks, the more uncomfortable she gets. And is he making some lying-ass facial expressions or what? Here’s my favorite lying-ass facial expression of the lot.

Now Kate is REALLY bugging out. Her eyes are darting this way and that, she squirms in her seat. Finally, she stands up and cuts Jack off. No further questions. Yeah, that happens in court. Now it’s time for cross-examination. “That was very moving, Dr. Shepherd. I have only one question for you: do you love the defendant?” What??? Jack says no, not anymore, which is exactly how I feel about recapping the rest of this scene. My ridiculousness threshold has been shattered.

Back on the island, new roomies Hurley and Sawyer are kicking it like the fellas are wont to do. Hurley puts Xanadu on. Holla! One of my first 45s was the “Magic” single from Xanadu. Kate comes in and Hurley gets lost. Sawyer takes Kate into the kitchen to talk over some Dharma wine. Sawyer says, “I know it’s in a box, but…pretty damn good wine.”

It’s kind of funny, and also kind of lame, because Sawyer has no shot unless he gets Kate drunk, and we all know this. Kate acts nice but Sawyer knows she wants to use him, and she admits as much, because she needs his help to grab Ben up and make the Miles thing happen.

Cut to Locke and Sawyer playing backgammon. Sawyer tells Locke that Kate found Miles through Hugo, and Locke is dumbfounded. Or is he just dumb, because everybody and they mama could see that coming? Locke gets heated, grabs his gun and goes to the boathouse. But when he gets there, Miles is gone. And Locke is heated.

Meanwhile, Kate and Miles are going after Ben. These two make a cool team. I like their style. They go down the steps to Ben’s cell, which is locked. No biggie, says Kate, as she shoots that thing right off the door.

Nice! Is this the first scene in two weeks that hasn’t consisted of, oh, 90% talking about dumb stuff? Finally, something happens. Miles is psyched. They roll up on Ben, who sees Miles and looks shook as hell.

Now Miles is in charge, and it’s awesome.

“Do you know who I am?”

“Yes,” replies Ben.

“Do you know who i work for?”

“Yes,” responds Ben.

Miles is like, Okay then, you know my boss wants you. I could tell him where you are, or I could tell him I found you dead. And I’d be willing to do that for 3.2 million dollars.

Ben seems legitimately confused. THAT’S what you came down here to do, son? Blackmail me?

Miles delivers the week’s best line: “It’s extortion, if you want to get technical.” And he sells it with a pitch-perfect shoulder shrug/eyebrow lift combo, delivered with the finesse of Christopher Walken in his prime.

Kudos, Ken Leung. Kudos.

Ben responds sarcastically. “Why not three-point-three or three-point-four? What makes you think I have access to that kind of money?”

Miles is not having it, people. He’s not having it at all. “Do not treat me like I’m one of them! Like I don’t know who you are, and what you can do!” Wowww! Miles can stay on the show as long as he wants, if I have anything to say about it. No one has ever called Ben out like that. Miles is no dummy, and Ben knows it.

Gotcha, Ben! What about Charlotte, Ben says. “I’ll take care of Charlotte. You just worry about the money. You have two days.” Miles is the man. Ben asks for an extension. Don’t give it to him, Miles! But he does. “Okay, one week.” That some soft-ass negotiating, Miles. And you were doing so well. Maybe Ben has the upper hand here, after all.

Kate’s had enough of this scene. It’s time for her piece of the action, so she puts Miles up against the wall by his neck. “Oooh, this is hot,” he says. What a great character to add to the mix. He proceeds to tell her all about herself, and suggests that maybe she should hang tight on the island and pretend she died in the crash – implying that he might be able to help her with that. Kate and Miles make a better team than any of the other sorry dudes on this island. I hope this is going somewhere good…good and gangsta.

Sadly, Locke shows up with a gun and shuts the fun down. “Go back to your house, Kate!” She protests. “GO BACK TO YOUR HOUSE, KATE!” Whatever, Dad. You are so uncool. Kate leaves in a huff.

Back at Kate’s house, Claire drops by for some more girl talk. Oh, that should be nice – except that Locke shows up. Locke is not a fun guy to have around this week. He wants to know what happened, of course, and Kate tells him the whole story – still snitching. When she tries to explain herself, he basically tells her to talk to the hand, and to get the heck out by morning. Ooh, what a punishment, leaving Locke’s crappy camp where Ben gets the last two eggs. Locke’s not much of a pimp nor a landlord, but he plays one at the barracks, and I’m over it.

Now Kate’s lawyer Joey Henrickson is wheeling her mom in to talk to her. She looks sickly and pale.

Mom wants to know if Kate’s really a hero, and why she won’t talk to her. Because you called the cops on me, Mom! Then we find out what Mom really wants: a chance to see her grandson. Kate’s like, you came here to make a deal? She’s not feeling the deal.

Continuing the theme of the episode – way too much Kate – we return to Sawyer’s love shack and country-ass pickup techniques. They finally work for him, as Kate agrees to some makeout time. Gross. I don’t want to know what that bedroom smells like right now.

Finally, we catch up with Dan and C.S. Lewis playing cards. She just saw his Turkish Delight and raised him a cracked stone table. Actually, upon further review, it’s some type of mind-reading, card-guessing game. Dan gets two out of three right, I think, but he’s disappointed with his progress. Interesting. Dan is a real wild card, isn’t he? Get it, wild card.

So Jack and Juliet show up looking for help with the phone, because the chopper gang’s been gone for a hot second and they can’t get through. Charlotte says she has a backup number, but it’s supposed to be for emergencies. Jack assures her it’s an emergency, so Charlotte takes the phone from Juliet (fitting, since Juliet’s been phoning it in all season) and makes the call. The voice on the other line is surprised – or feigns surprise – at the mention of the chopper leaving the island. “What do you mean they took off? I thought the helicopter was with you?” Helicopter? Huh? Oh, the chopper, got it.

We go back to Locke, who’s got some business to attend to with Miles. Miles tries to explain the situation, but Locke forgoes conversation for the ol’ live-grenade-in-the-mouth approach.

Didn’t see that coming! So this conversation will be mostly Locke talking, I bet. He introduces himself to Miles and talks real greezy about how things are gonna go from now on, how Miles is going to tell him everything he wants to know, all that good stuff. “In the meantime, keep your mouth shut.” Cute.

Now it’s back to Sawyer’s Den of Iniquity, where the smelly twosome are waking up together. Sawyer tries to get some because they “didn’t go all the way last night” (his words), at which point I can’t take anymore of the funky Kate-Sawyer stew. Didn’t go all the way? What did they do all night? Regardless, Kate’s not feeling it anymore. Sawyer proceeds to talk way too much considering they just woke up, voicing his blue-balled frustration via an epic monologue of lameness while Kate gets dressed.

Kate’s not a morning person, so she slaps him in the face and leaves.

Back to the Kate trial! The prosecutor tells the judge that Kate’s mom can’t testify for medical reasons, then tells Kate’s lawyer that they have to talk. Turns out Mom’s not so keen on testifying, so it’s time to make a deal. That’s convenient for Kate. Is her lawyer gonna turn out to be Dharma/Oceanic/etc? Seems like he might, he has the creepy thing going on. Kate gets 10 years probation and can’t leave the state, which her lawyer tries to negotiate, but Kate just takes the deal. Bad call, Kate. She says she has a kid, which means she’s not going anywhere, apparently. But kids like other states! So much for that trip to Dutch Wonderland.

Outside the courtroom, Kate finds Jack waiting for her. They’re both in black. That’s probably significant, right?

Kate says she’s heard Jack’s BS story about eight people surviving so many times that she’s starting to think he believes it. Jack looks around as if to check if someone is listening. He changes the topic, telling Kate that when he said he didn’t love her anymore, he was lying. They go in for some eye contact.

Then Kate asks if he wants to come by for a visit, and suddenly Jack’s gotta get back to the hospital and stuff, but maybe she’d like to grab some coffee instead? He makes a really fake “it’s all good” face.

Kate responds with a really real “it’s not all good’ face.

“I know why you don’t want to see the baby, Jack.”

Yeah, why not? Tell us! Someone tell us! They don’t tell us.

“But until you do, until you want to, there’s no you or me going for coffee. But, um, if anytime you should change your mind, come and see us.”

Jack is fake nodding like it’s all good, tells her “Yeah…okay.” But look at his wistful eyes! It’s not okay, is it.

He puts her in a cab. It drives off. So much for clean Jack and Kate getting together in this episode. Jack watches the cab drive off with a very serious face.

Wonder what’s popping with these two.

As Kate’s cab pulls up to what appears to be her house, it dawns on me that we’re finally going to see her son. Finally! This is getting good. She opens the door and is greeted by some nanny-looking lady. They hug. Have we seen her before? I don’t know.

Kate heads upstairs to check on the little guy, and we get our first look at him – and the two weirdo robots on the wall, huh?

So Kate picks him up. Holds him close. Then makes a really weird face as she says, “Hi, Aaron.”

Aaron? Claire’s son? Whoa!

*HHWWBBHWHHONNGNGGGGGGGGGGG*

Okay, full disclosure: I was so bored by the episode at this point that I kind of drifted off at the end, and was like, “What’s the kid’s name? Whatever. That was a dumb ending.” So I’m talking to my friend Michele this morning before I finished the recap, and I’m like, “What was that stuff with the kid about again?”

She looks at me like I just ate a live panda with my hands tied behind my back.

“Aaron!!!! Claire’s son!!!!!!!!!”

Great Googly Moogly. son! How did I miss that. It certainly raises a few questions, doesn’t it. Is Claire dead? Is Claire still on the island? And, on a more poignant note, am I going senile? My first impression is No-Yes-Yes. But the jury’s still out. Not Kate’s jury. Where am I?

All in all, this episode felt like a long, long tease for more action in the chopper. Fortunately, next episode, the chopper gang is back in action! Oh yeah. I’m looking forward to that. Until then, chime in with some comments, and come back for more Lost posts all week long.

See you soon!

~ by Steve on February 22, 2008.